A midlife crisis can be a transformative period of life. Explore simple, practical tips and discover the new opportunities it can bring.
Mental health professionals have debated whether midlife crises are real. The term “midlife crisis” isn’t a recognized mental health diagnosis. And though most people can tell you what a midlife crisis is, research shows 10–20% of people actually experience it.
No matter what we call it, a prolonged period of malaise and questioning between the ages of 40 and 60 is nearly universal, regardless of gender. Researchers have known for decades that happiness reaches a low point in midlife before rebounding as we age. In fact, numerous U-shaped graphs map the peaks and valleys of personal satisfaction, with recent studies pointing out the differences between men and women.
Language matters
In this article, we use “male” and “female” to refer to someone’s sex as determined by their chromosomes, and “men” and “women” when referring to their gender (unless quoting from sources using nonspecific language).
Sex is determined by chromosomes, and gender is a social construct that can vary between time periods and cultures. Both of these aspects are acknowledged to exist on a spectrum both historically and by modern scientific consensus.
People of any gender may go through menopause.
Midlife crises were once defined according to gender norms: Women were disoriented and disappointed by relational changes and men by career changes. As more women pursue careers and become breadwinners, their midlife anxieties have expanded. What midlife crisis looks like depends on the person who’s experiencing it.
As Nora Ephron once said, “You are not going to be you — fixed, immutable you — forever.” We all change, and a midlife crisis is evidence.
It’s partly physiological
During perimenopause and menopause, changing hormones may cause or contribute to the feelings associated with midlife crisis. Declining estrogen and progesterone levels may interfere with your sleep. They may also lead to reduced energy levels or shifts in mood.
It’s partly emotional
By the time you reach middle age, you may have experienced some trauma or loss. Certain life events can cause grief or stress, including:
- the death of a family member
- a significant change in your identity
- divorce
- physical or emotional abuse
- loss of employment or financial hardship
- episodes of discrimination
- loss of fertility
- empty nest syndrome
Even after these events have passed, you may still experience residual grief from them.
It’s partly societal
Our youth-obsessed society is not always kind to women. Like many women, you may feel:
- less noticeable as you reach middle age
- pressure to mask the signs of growing older
- the difficulties of caring for your children and your aging parents at the same time
Midlife malaise may resolve itself as you get older. But if you want to nudge the needle on your satisfaction meter sooner rather than later, here are some things you can do:
Talk to a doctor
Many of the symptoms of midlife crisis overlap with depression, anxiety disorders, and hormonal imbalances. If you’re experiencing midlife blues, your doctor may prescribe hormone replacement therapy, antidepressants, or anti-anxiety medicines to help with your symptoms.
Talk to a therapist
Cognitive therapy, life coaching, or group therapy might help you work through grief, manage anxiety, and plan a path toward greater fulfillment.
Talk to your friends
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Reconnect with nature
Studies show that spending time outdoors, even for a few minutes a day, can lift your mood and improve your outlook. Sitting by the seashore,
Try healthy eating and exercise
Eat the good stuff — leafy greens, fruits, and vegetables in all the rainbow colors, and lean proteins. Your diet can have a positive impact on your lifespan and help you feel better. It’s also important to maintain an exercise routine as you get older.
Write down what you’ve accomplished
Not just the big things like awards, degrees, and job titles. Write it all down:
- traumas you’ve survived
- people you’ve loved
- friends you’ve rescued
- places you’ve traveled
- places you’ve volunteered
- books you’ve read
- plants you have managed not to kill
This period of life is not your whole story. Take time to honor all you have done and been.
Take steps toward a new future
Novelist George Eliot said, “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” Take an online course, do some research for a novel, or open a food truck or a start-up. You may not have to radically overhaul your family or your career to make a material change in your happiness.
Read
Read books that inspire, empower, or motivate you to try something new.
“Midlife crisis” may be another name for the grief, exhaustion, and anxiety that can affect people for a prolonged period between ages 40 and 60. The origins may be physiological, emotional, or societal.
If you’re experiencing something like a midlife crisis, you can get help from a doctor, a therapist, or someone in your circle of friends. Healthy eating, exercise, time spent in nature, and natural remedies may help decrease your symptoms until this transitional phase passes.